Here, try one of these instead.

"I don’t understand this continuing obsession with buying things that you need to break before they do what you want. It’s not just the iPhone; people did the exact same thing with the AppleTV too. Primarily to add support for other video codecs, like DivX and XviD. Why? .... I thought the big draw for Apple hardware was that “It Just Works.” By breaking it, you must know you’re giving up the “Just Works” factor, so what’s left? Rounded corners?"

Yes! Oh my word, yes, Mark. I own a Mac. I own it for rounded corners and my other baseline design requirements (say, symmetry or... colour). I own an iPod for the same reasons. I mean, honestly. This isn't hard, folks. I'm a sweaty developer nerd with Dorito-stained hands and no social skills. Even I could design a better laptop than this monstrosity I'm typing on. Let's start with the keyboard:

Who wants to guess what's wrong with this picture? We've taken away all the other distractions so you can focus.

Think. Look and think. What aspects of this small plastic token make you want to barf?

If any of these came to mind...
  • Font
  • Character formatting
  • Character positioning
  • Key shape
  • Key colour
  • Key surface texture
...give yourself a hug and treat yourself to a chocolate croissant! Dell needs to hire you! Mark, TightPinkProduct Inc. has a laptop for you. All the rounded corners and industrial design basics your heart desires, it works, and you'll drip nerdy saliva all over yourself when you see how much Linux if freakin' involves. It's like... loads. Loads of Linux. Or whatever. A phone might be harder -- only Apple has embedded software so cute. So far. Please hold.

Tangentially, now. For those who've asked, The TightPinkProduct is an intentional misnomer. Let me peel away the layers of mystery to reveal what it isn't: It isn't a product. It isn't pink. And it is only tight in one sense of the word.

It's little more than a concept. A simple idea I wish someone would use to make a small fortune. It's not revolutionary. It's not even interesting. But it will work.

I'll buy The TightPinkProduct. Heck, I'll even overpay by $200 to get it before anyone else.

Old Ladys Dont Take Shit

Geoff: is it wrong to take a shit and smoke?
Geoff: i am not currently shitting
steven: Thank Christ.
steven: And YES.
steven: There is an elegance to smoking that is completely obliterated by doing so while you shit.
Geoff: old people do it
steven: No, they don't.
steven: At least... not old women.
steven: And the women are the ones you want to emulate.
Geoff: i dont know about that
steven: Do not google for "smoking and shitting".

Further investigation did not reveal the cartoonish image I was groping for. But Google's robots displayed another interesting slice governing the Cube's perception of the English language.

What would "making a shit" consist of? Eating or digesting? Wait, I have an idea. Why don't I do something productive for a change? Bye. podcast podcast

Despite the reprehensibly trendy domain name, I read regularly. I have never, however, felt like spending the energy it would take to download the music they post. Even though their wealthy, hipster lifestyles afford them the time to find the quality music I desire, the process has always been too manual.

...until now. Hook yourself up with Banshee. Or iTunes, I guess... if you still haven't bought a product.

Thanks, random internet guy! Nerds, check out that glob of his. He's got some fun stuff.


Pat derides South Indian "spicy" food.

In case you don't read Pat's blog (you should) or don't believe him (you rarely should), he speaks the truth. The two spiciest meals I've eaten in the past year, inclusive of 3 months in Maharashtra, were North Indian Kati Rolls in Manhattan and curry from ever-delicious Spice Hut in Calgary. Andree, if you're reading this, I recommend you check it out. And if you review it, disregard the "East Indian Food" signage. Manzar, the purveyor, is Pakistani.

South Indian food is rarely hot-spicy, frequently flavour-spicy. But it's always delicious. Vegetarian food in the US is just as bland as I remember it, leaving me anxious to get back to Pune and chow down on a bucket of methi daal at Aangan. Yum.